I'm in critical condition(have to hang on)

No la.. i'm not having cancer la!! i'm not having brain tumour lar!!!!!



NO!! i got no premonition about death!!!sheesh...


i'm talking bout my sports :basketball , discus, etc...






since last year, my left knee been suffering from god knows wat kind of pain. pleas don't tell me to look for a doctor! I hate them... for a reason.. and dun mention pls!






the pain normally comes when you strain the knee... often during a game of basketball.Is like when u jump, the pain comes.. but you can't actually felt it coz concentration in the game makes u excited. But after the game, i could hardly walk up the stairs. it's called Tendinitis..


Tendinitis of the knee occurs in the front of the knee below the kneecap at the patellar tendon , or in the back of the knee at the popliteal tendon Tendinitis is an inflammation of the tendon, which is often produced by a strain event, such as jumping.





i said to myself a couple of times "no jackson, don't go play, ur condition are getting worse". but at da same time " i gotta be better than them, i need to play"... and of course desire always win for the weak minded.


If only xinhui and yen tink was there for me... where were they when i seriously need them... sigh unfortunately they both don't know either.

Frankly, i'm scared... really afraid... worried. i'm not afraid of death.. i'm afraid of loosing my legs. blood blocks.. and all sort of scary stuff you can think of. by now, some people who read this part would say " you know and scared why you still want to play and don't see a doctor?" If only i was that strong enough.

But how could i stop the things that i liked to do?. the only stuff that brought friends to me? met such caring and... full of life peoples? (i'm not emo though i sound like 1).

when things could get worse, my right leg starting to get the symptom too lately.. the cause of hurting in the bone like 6 years ago in my left knee. the cause is the same= jumping too much with my heavy weight. and i know i won't make my mistake twice!!! NVR!!!!

Once i said i'm not going court anymore, but hearing and looking at them playing outside my house juz makes me think how much i like them! No the Tai Kong people.. ppl like Tim, yen tink, xinhui, emily, wern loong , gori etc. the way we laugh and knew each other..stories and 1st impresions... omg! is juz there... so gay!

on the other hand, people are leaving... example = me, yen tink , michael... and.. ming.. he shifting to my neighbourhood LOL!!! and people say don't blame life's unfair...
is been a jester to me thought.... asshole!
gotta go... hope my knees are ok..

*off~