Dear God, from Dog

To GOD,

Dear God, why do humans smell flowers, but never smell one another's butt?

Dear God, why are there cars named after the jaguar, cougar, mustang.. or Perodua Kancil, Rusa, but never ONE named after a dog??? We do love a nice ride, and how often you see a Kancil riding around? Would it be so hard just to name "Perodua Myvi" to "Perodua Husky"?

Dear God, we understand human verbal interactions, hand signals, whistles, scent's ID, but what do humans understand??

Dear God, more meatballs, less spaghetti please.

Dear God, are there Mailmen in heaven? If so, should we apologize to them?

Dear God, here are the list of some things i have to remember to be a good dog...

1. I will not roll around garbage, mud, grass, just because I like their smell.
   
2. I will not chew on shoes or slippers because I'm bored.
   
3. The tyre, is not my loo.
   
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
   
5. The toilet bowl water is not my drinking water.
   
6. The mailmen are not my enemies and certainly not a trespasser .
   
7. I will not play tug-o-war with my master's underwear when their collecting their clothes outside.
   
8. I will not bite the TNB men when they came in to pass the bills, that goes for the water bill.
   
9. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
   
10. I must shake the water out of my fur before entering the house.. not after.
    
11. I will not lick my crotch when we have company,
    
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

and finally 1 last question....

Dear God, when I get to Heaven...may I have my testicles back?

From, DOG.

*off~