Because I,

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too.

Why does it rain now?
After all those weeks, why does it rain at that hour? why doesn't it stop? Why the sky is dark the moment I woke up off an unpleasant dream?
The rain drops, they fall forming unsettling ripples on the puddles of water by the road side; complicated and agitated like how my heart is at the moment.
How I wish, I could stop the rain, as though how I wished I could take back the words I said, and how I wished I could be there for someone whom is in need, but sadly.. not by me.
How I wished I'm someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to get struck by lightning.

But it turns out, there's no lightning during the night. The rain couldn't stop either as I was on the road side, cursing the fact that I'd such elusive imaginary thoughts.. like each ray from the street lights flashing through my eyes modulates another thoughts one by one.


Truth to be told, I'd never experience true joy by just a glance of someone, or by the touch of their hands. The floating plank I'd been drifting on by the years, I'd prayed for a ship.. and by the beholden heart I'd found one. Since words couldn't describe much how and what it was, I too never want to bring up the past. But such words made, all sad words of tongue or pen written or said, The saddest are these:
Sobeit.
I'd never want anything to change, we start out right I believe we can get through this again. For all that matters it's only a diminutive complication to be dealt with, we get through this once, and I believe we can get through this again. I'd never want anything to change in between us, as it'll be very difficult for me to live in a lie.. and it'll be as hard for you to let go all those that we remained.
The depth of our despair measures what capability and height of claim we have to hope.
You are not the one who should be sorry, because all is forgiven...
and honestly, I'm terrified.
I've been laying here all night, listening to the rain.. talking to my heart and trying to explain.
Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes, I do care about you, every now and then.
And I hope, I really hoped you're alright..

The best thing after all one can do when it's raining, is just to let it rain.

*off~ deeply sorry